Two Sundays is what is separating me from the deadlines for most of my graduate applications. My nerves are raw, my mental space is solely focused on APPLICATIONS, and my anticipation is growing.
Questions race through my mind. What if I don’t get accepted into any schools? Where will I be one year from now? Am I prepared to do interviews? Around and around and around these questions spin through my head like a vortex. I know most people are going through the same anxieties I am. Speaking to friends and reading Reddit posts, I see peoples’ minds going through the ringer just as mine is now.
This whole process has taken me around 7 months- searching for topics I would be interested in, then professors interested in my topics, emailing said professors, gathering materials to apply, etc. So, it’s no wonder I am so invested in getting accepted. Going to graduate school is the first step of my entire career, and to be extra dramatic, my life. If I don’t get accepted, I will have to postpone my plan for yet another year. This would be a huge setback because do you even know how hard it is to get a job in biology with a bachelor’s degree?!
I know if all went wrong and I did not get into any schools I am applying to, I will still succeed in the long run. Yet, I really am ready to get things started now. I had my gap year and now I know without any doubts that I belong in academia. It’s where a curious, offbeat, scientist such as myself belongs. Creating and sharing knowledge give me a sense of purpose and belonging that is like no other feeling I’ve had doing anything else. I am ready to be able to create my own project, to learn among great people, and to fast-track myself into the career of my dreams (research professor for those who don’t know).
The wait and anticipation is worth it. The GRE was worth it. Sleepless nights are worth it. Being jumpy and nervous for weeks is worth it. Pouring over every letter and piece of punctuation in my essays was worth it. Hours and hours spent on this process have been worth it. Because eventually, I will get accepted. I will succeed. I will change my own life. I will make a difference in my field and in the world.
Grace Gable 